laughs of the day
Moderators: ashman, poshnipper
Re: laughs of the day
I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon but when it was delivered all the pages were blank.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
I have no words to describe how angry I am.
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
Re: laughs of the day
was fired from the keyboard factory today.
Apparently I wasn’t putting in enough shifts...
Apparently I wasn’t putting in enough shifts...
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- bristleposh
- Posts: 27929
- Joined: 10 Jun 2007, 09:14
- Location: El Dub
Re: laughs of the day
The boss of a paint company has died of hypothermia whilst trekking across the Antarctic.
Medics say he needed a second coat.
Apparently his funeral will be very emulsional
Medics say he needed a second coat.
Apparently his funeral will be very emulsional
Re: laughs of the day
I just bought a bottle of that new aftershave called "Breadcrumbs".
The birds love it
The birds love it
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
Re: laughs of the day
A husband asks his wife, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."
"If I died and you remarried," the husband asks, "would he live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess he would."
"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house," the husband asks, "would he sleep in our bed?"
"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess he would."
"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house and slept in our bed, would he use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no!" the wife replies. "He's left-handed!"
"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."
"If I died and you remarried," the husband asks, "would he live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess he would."
"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house," the husband asks, "would he sleep in our bed?"
"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess he would."
"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house and slept in our bed, would he use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no!" the wife replies. "He's left-handed!"
A friendly Reading FC fan! He is a moderator here: http://www.extremefootballforum.com/forum
- bristleposh
- Posts: 27929
- Joined: 10 Jun 2007, 09:14
- Location: El Dub
Re: laughs of the day
daib0 wrote: ↑10 Nov 2017, 16:40A husband asks his wife, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."
"If I died and you remarried," the husband asks, "would he live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess he would."
"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house," the husband asks, "would he sleep in our bed?"
"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess he would."
"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house and slept in our bed, would he use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no!" the wife replies. "He's left-handed!"


Re: laughs of the day
bristleposh wrote: ↑10 Nov 2017, 17:17daib0 wrote: ↑10 Nov 2017, 16:40A husband asks his wife, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."
"If I died and you remarried," the husband asks, "would he live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess he would."
"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house," the husband asks, "would he sleep in our bed?"
"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess he would."
"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house and slept in our bed, would he use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no!" the wife replies. "He's left-handed!"![]()
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Plymouth to Portsmouth 2017 -2018, that ain't far
Re: laughs of the day
daib0 wrote: ↑10 Nov 2017, 16:40A husband asks his wife, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."
"If I died and you remarried," the husband asks, "would he live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess he would."
"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house," the husband asks, "would he sleep in our bed?"
"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess he would."
"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house and slept in our bed, would he use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no!" the wife replies. "He's left-handed!"


Although that joke wouldn't work if her boyfriend was right handed.
"I suppose so" the wife replies "They're only golf clubs"
What's his next question?
Being happy never goes out of style
Re: laughs of the day
I was telling my lovely lady doctor earlier how my tennis elbow was really hurting.
She said "how many years have you had it for?"
I said "15, love"

She said "how many years have you had it for?"
I said "15, love"

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- bristleposh
- Posts: 27929
- Joined: 10 Jun 2007, 09:14
- Location: El Dub
Re: laughs of the day
I bought a Bonnie Tyler SatNav, its rubbish it just keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart.
Re: laughs of the day
so ... It’s the Olympic Fishing event today.
I hear it’s all online...
Anyone got a good stream?
I hear it’s all online...
Anyone got a good stream?
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