laughs of the day

[daib0]

I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon but when it was delivered all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

[daib0]

was fired from the keyboard factory today.

Apparently I wasn’t putting in enough shifts...

[stuie]

was fired from the keyboard factory today.

Apparently I wasn’t putting in enough shifts...

[tonyp]

I ordered a thesaurus from Amazon but when it was delivered all the pages were blank.

I have no words to describe how angry I am.

[bristleposh]

The boss of a paint company has died of hypothermia whilst trekking across the Antarctic.

Medics say he needed a second coat.



Apparently his funeral will be very emulsional

[daib0]

I just bought a bottle of that new aftershave called "Breadcrumbs".

The birds love it

[stuie]

I just bought a bottle of that new aftershave called "Breadcrumbs".

The birds love it

[daib0]

A husband asks his wife, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."

"If I died and you remarried," the husband asks, "would he live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess he would."

"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house," the husband asks, "would he sleep in our bed?"
"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess he would."

"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house and slept in our bed, would he use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no!" the wife replies. "He's left-handed!"

[bristleposh]

A husband asks his wife, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."

"If I died and you remarried," the husband asks, "would he live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess he would."

"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house," the husband asks, "would he sleep in our bed?"
"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess he would."

"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house and slept in our bed, would he use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no!" the wife replies. "He's left-handed!"

[stuie]

A husband asks his wife, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."

"If I died and you remarried," the husband asks, "would he live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess he would."

"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house," the husband asks, "would he sleep in our bed?"
"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess he would."

"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house and slept in our bed, would he use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no!" the wife replies. "He's left-handed!"

[tonyp]

A husband asks his wife, "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?"
"After a considerable period of grieving, I guess I would. We all need companionship."

"If I died and you remarried," the husband asks, "would he live in this house?"
"We've spent a lot of money getting this house just the way we want it. I'm not going to get rid of my house. I guess he would."

"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house," the husband asks, "would he sleep in our bed?"
"Well, the bed is brand new, and it cost us $2000. It's going to last a long time, so I guess he would."

"If I died and you remarried, and he lived in this house and slept in our bed, would he use my golf clubs?"
"Oh, no!" the wife replies. "He's left-handed!"

Although that joke wouldn't work if her boyfriend was right handed.
"I suppose so" the wife replies "They're only golf clubs"
What's his next question?

[daib0]

I was telling my lovely lady doctor earlier how my tennis elbow was really hurting.

She said "how many years have you had it for?"

I said "15, love"

[stuie]

I was telling my lovely lady doctor earlier how my tennis elbow was really hurting.

She said "how many years have you had it for?"

I said "15, love"

[bristleposh]

I bought a Bonnie Tyler SatNav, its rubbish it just keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart.

[daib0]

so ... It’s the Olympic Fishing event today.
I hear it’s all online...
Anyone got a good stream?