Christmas jokes

Jokes, Riddles and Trivia. Keep them clean please!

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tonyp
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Christmas jokes

Post by tonyp » 07 Dec 2017, 08:26

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!
Last edited by tonyp on 10 Dec 2017, 01:59, edited 2 times in total.
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tonyp
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Christmas Cracker jokes

Post by tonyp » 07 Dec 2017, 22:50

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws!
:lol: :lol: :clap2:
Last edited by tonyp on 08 Dec 2017, 10:04, edited 1 time in total.
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tonyp
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Christmas Cracker jokes

Post by tonyp » 07 Dec 2017, 22:51

Who is Santa's favourite singer?
Elfish Presley!
:lol: :lol: :clap2:
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stuie
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Re: Christmas Cracker jokes

Post by stuie » 08 Dec 2017, 12:38

keep them coming Tony
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Re: Christmas Cracker jokes

Post by poshnipper » 08 Dec 2017, 13:50

stuie wrote:
08 Dec 2017, 12:38
keep them coming Tony
Don't encourage him Stuie.
We go again...
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stuie
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Re: Christmas Cracker jokes

Post by stuie » 08 Dec 2017, 14:15

poshnipper wrote:
08 Dec 2017, 13:50
stuie wrote:
08 Dec 2017, 12:38
keep them coming Tony
Don't encourage him Stuie.
:D
Plymouth to Portsmouth 2017 -2018, that ain't far

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tonyp
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Re: Christmas Cracker jokes

Post by tonyp » 09 Dec 2017, 08:59

stuie wrote:
08 Dec 2017, 12:38
keep them coming Tony
I'll try stuie.
But I've only pulled three crackers so far this Christmas.
Another party this evening so keep your fingers crossed! :lol:
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tonyp
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Re: Christmas Cracker jokes

Post by tonyp » 09 Dec 2017, 09:07

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?

Deep pan, crisp and even!
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tonyp
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Christmas jokes

Post by tonyp » 10 Dec 2017, 01:58

Image
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tonyp
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by tonyp » 10 Dec 2017, 02:06

One more - ( I pinched an extra cracker last night especially for stuie)

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy claws!
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by stuie » 11 Dec 2017, 13:28

:clap:
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daib0
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by daib0 » 14 Dec 2017, 23:48

There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting.
He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!"
Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be sleeting."
The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
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daib0
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by daib0 » 14 Dec 2017, 23:49

-Knock knock
*Who's there?
-Mary!
*Mary who?
-Merry Christmas
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by bristleposh » 15 Dec 2017, 00:06

daib0 wrote:
14 Dec 2017, 23:48
There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting.
He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!"
Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be sleeting."
The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
:lol:
I started a joke that had the whole world crying
But I didn't see that the joke was on me

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stuie
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by stuie » 15 Dec 2017, 00:29

daib0 wrote:
14 Dec 2017, 23:48
There was once a great czar in Russia named Rudolph the Red. He stood looking out the windows of is palace one day while his wife, the Czarina Katerina, sat nearby knitting.
He turned to her and said, "Look my dear, it has begun to rain!"
Without even looking up from her knitting she replied, "It's too cold to rain. It must be sleeting."
The Czar shook his head and said, "I am the Czar of all the Russias, and Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"
:clap2:
Plymouth to Portsmouth 2017 -2018, that ain't far

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