Christmas jokes

Jokes, Riddles and Trivia. Keep them clean please!

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stuie
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by stuie » 20 Dec 2017, 11:31

What do you call a dog who works for Santa?
Santa Paws!
Plymouth to Portsmouth 2017 -2018, that ain't far

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stuie
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by stuie » 21 Dec 2017, 20:28

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!
Plymouth to Portsmouth 2017 -2018, that ain't far

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tonyp
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by tonyp » 22 Dec 2017, 01:33

Q: How did Scrooge win the football game?

A: The ghost of Christmas passed
Being happy never goes out of style

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tonyp
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by tonyp » 22 Dec 2017, 01:37

While I was working as a store Santa, a boy asked me for an electric train set. “If you get your train,” I told him, “your dad is going to want to play with it too. Is that all right?”

The boy became very quiet. So, moving the conversation along, 
I asked, “What else would you like Santa to bring you?”

He promptly replied, “Another train.”
Being happy never goes out of style

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bristleposh
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Re: Does McCann illegally badger referees

Post by bristleposh » 22 Dec 2017, 09:29

Apparently Grant is taking time off at Christmas to take charge of an unruled game of football between some mammals, he is going to referree some illegal badgers
http://www.theposhforum.co.uk/download/file.php?id=761

DoubleRay
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Re: Does McCann illegally badger referees

Post by DoubleRay » 22 Dec 2017, 13:49

bristleposh wrote:
22 Dec 2017, 09:29
Apparently Grant is taking time off at Christmas to take charge of an unruled game of football between some mammals, he is going to referree some illegal badgers
_20171222_124748.JPG
_20171222_124748.JPG (21.91 KiB) Viewed 419 times

daib0
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by daib0 » 25 Dec 2017, 12:10

in festive spirit...


Following the United States decision to recognise Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, the Palestinian authorities have entered into the spirit of things and decided to arbitrarily shift the capital of The United States to England.
In a move which will surprise many, the Palestinians announced yesterday that the capital of The United States will from now on, be the Lincolnshire steel town of Scunthorpe. Eagle eyed readers – but not necessarily all Americans – will have noticed that Scunthorpe isn’t even in the United States.


https://rochdaleherald.co.uk/2017/12/14 ... scunthorpe
A friendly Reading FC fan! Job: CELLO MAN - see extensive web www.johnstone-music.com

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tonyp
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by tonyp » 27 Dec 2017, 07:03

From my cracker on Christmas Day -

What do you call a kid who doesn't believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.
Being happy never goes out of style

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tonyp
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Re: Christmas jokes

Post by tonyp » 27 Dec 2017, 07:05

My wife's was -
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!
Being happy never goes out of style

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