Get home sober

Jokes, Riddles and Trivia. Keep them clean please!

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Get home sober

Post by tonyp » 10 Feb 2016, 11:22

A man was rather fond of visiting the pub on the way home from work and consequently would often arrive home somewhat inebriated.

One night his wife finally snapped.

"That's it. You come home from work drunk again and I will leave and the next time we see each other will be in the divorce court. No ifs, no buts - I've had enough"

The following evening he couldn't resist the lure of the pub near his office and went in for a cheeky pint. Unfortunately one pint led to many more plus chasers. It's getting rather late and he realises he'd better get home but as he stands up, he throws up all over his jacket.

He says to his mate. "Oh Christ, that's me finished. The Mrs will ruin me in court"

His mate says "Don't worry. Tell your good lady that you have been working late but on the way home, you encountered a drunken man in need of assistance who was so far gone he was sick on you. Then you drag a £20 note out of your jacket pocket and say that he gave you this for the dry cleaning"

So he arrives home, his wife takes one look at him and says "Right, I'm packing my bags and going"

Whilst reaching into his jacket pocket, the man says, "Hold on love, hear me out will you? I helped a man who was worse for wear on the way home but the poor chap vomited down my front. He was so ashamed but he insisted that I took this £20 to pay for the dry cleaning"

"Hmmm", she says. "But you are holding two £20 notes. What's the other one for?"

And the man says "Oh, that's from the bloke who sh*t in my trousers"
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Re: Get home sober

Post by bristleposh » 10 Feb 2016, 14:29


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