laughs of the day

Jokes, Riddles and Trivia. Keep them clean please!

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tonyp
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Re: Stuie's one liner of the day

Post by tonyp » 23 Nov 2014, 23:41

stuie wrote: :oops: :oops:
Another one for your post count, though. (and mine) :clap2:
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stuie
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Re: Stuie's one liner of the day

Post by stuie » 23 Nov 2014, 23:48

What is post count
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tonyp
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Re: Stuie's one liner of the day

Post by tonyp » 24 Nov 2014, 00:44

stuie wrote:What is post count
It's the number of posts you have made. You're on 8786 at the moment.
bristle is on 19309.
If you and I keep replying to each other as often as we have been doing lately we'll catch up to him.
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stuie
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Re: Stuie's one liner of the day

Post by stuie » 24 Nov 2014, 09:56

tonyp wrote:
stuie wrote:What is post count
It's the number of posts you have made. You're on 8786 at the moment.
bristle is on 19309.
If you and I keep replying to each other as often as we have been doing lately we'll catch up to him.
I actually think I have been posted too much of late, ans intend to limit my posts, I am sure other posters will be getting fed up with some of the rubbish I post

Good luck in catching Brisle, if thats what your aim is, I just enjoy posting and reading posts etc
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Re: Stuie's one liner of the day

Post by stuie » 24 Nov 2014, 09:57

19 yokels go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?"
Joe replies, "The film said 18 or over."
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tonyp
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Re: Stuie's one liner of the day

Post by tonyp » 24 Nov 2014, 10:26

stuie wrote:19 yokels go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?"
Joe replies, "The film said 18 or over."
:lol:
I thought it was 19 blondes and Jo-anne!
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Re: Stuie's one liner of the day

Post by stuie » 25 Nov 2014, 10:47

.
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Re: Stuie's laugh of the day

Post by stuie » 26 Nov 2014, 10:59

A group of chaps, all aged 40, discussed where they should meet for a reunion lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.

Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.



Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they could dine in peace and quiet, and it was good value for money.



Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.



Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they'd never been there before.
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tonyp
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Re: Stuie's laugh of the day

Post by tonyp » 26 Nov 2014, 11:26

:clap2: :clap2: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Stuie's laugh of the day

Post by bristleposh » 26 Nov 2014, 15:21

I got reminded of an old joke today whilst driving back from my dog walk. I saw a woman on the pavement, who definitely looked the worse for wear. When I write down the joke you'll understand why.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? You shouldn't need to you've already told her twice.
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Re: Stuie's laugh of the day

Post by ashman » 26 Nov 2014, 16:32

bristleposh wrote:I got reminded of an old joke today whilst driving back from my dog walk. I saw a woman on the pavement, who definitely looked the worse for wear. When I write down the joke you'll understand why.

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? You shouldn't need to you've already told her twice.
That's cheating! :wink:
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stuie
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Re: Stuie's laugh of the day

Post by stuie » 27 Nov 2014, 09:07

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
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Re: Stuie's one liner of the day

Post by DaveLister » 27 Nov 2014, 15:05

bristleposh wrote:
stuie wrote:The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.
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poshnipper
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Re: Stuie's laugh of the day

Post by poshnipper » 27 Nov 2014, 21:17

stuie wrote:I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
:clap2: :clap2:
We go again...
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tonyp
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Re: Stuie's laugh of the day

Post by tonyp » 27 Nov 2014, 22:07

poshnipper wrote:
stuie wrote:I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
:clap2: :clap2:
What's the betting that next time you meet up with bristle (unless it's on a Tuesday) he'll ask you to demonstrate the splits. :)
Being happy never goes out of style

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