laughs of the day

Jokes, Riddles and Trivia. Keep them clean please!

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 15 Mar 2018, 08:47

tonyp wrote:
15 Mar 2018, 08:39
Boy, if this doesn't hit the nail on the head, I don't know what does.

Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint.
Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The FIRST is a Golden Retriever.
The SECOND is a Senior Citizen.

Next time take me to a vet !
I don't see why that's in laughs of the day, it sounds true and should be in general chat under its own banner.
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tonyp
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Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Re: laughs of the day

Post by tonyp » 15 Mar 2018, 08:51

bristleposh wrote:
15 Mar 2018, 08:47
tonyp wrote:
15 Mar 2018, 08:39
Boy, if this doesn't hit the nail on the head, I don't know what does.

Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint.
Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The FIRST is a Golden Retriever.
The SECOND is a Senior Citizen.

Next time take me to a vet !
I don't see why that's in laughs of the day, it sounds true and should be in general chat under its own banner.
:clap2: :clap2: gpwm
Being happy never goes out of style

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tonyp
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Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Re: laughs of the day

Post by tonyp » 15 Mar 2018, 09:02

IMG_7594.jpg
IMG_7594.jpg (61.71 KiB) Viewed 1154 times
Being happy never goes out of style

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 15 Mar 2018, 13:14

tonyp wrote:
15 Mar 2018, 08:39
Boy, if this doesn't hit the nail on the head, I don't know what does.

Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint.
Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.

The FIRST patient is examined within the hour, is x-rayed the same day and has a time booked for surgery the following week.

The SECOND sees his family doctor after waiting 3 weeks for an appointment, then waits 8 weeks to see a specialist, then gets an x-ray, which isn't reviewed for another week and finally has his surgery scheduled for 6 months from then.

Why the different treatment for the two patients?

The FIRST is a Golden Retriever.
The SECOND is a Senior Citizen.

Next time take me to a vet !

Understood, though ... I've got a lovely golden retriever at home!!

:D
A friendly Reading FC fan! Job: CELLO MAN - see extensive web www.johnstone-music.com

Lewis
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Joined: 15 Jan 2018, 11:25

Re: laughs of the day

Post by Lewis » 15 Mar 2018, 20:36

Sold my Hoover on e-bay the other day,well it was just gathering dust.

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tonyp
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Location: Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

Re: laughs of the day

Post by tonyp » 15 Mar 2018, 21:51

daib0 wrote:
15 Mar 2018, 13:14
Understood, though ... I've got a lovely golden retriever at home!!

:D
I was walking along Queen Street the other day and saw this guy sitting on a park bench with a beautiful Golden retriever.
"Lovely dog" I said. "Sure is" he replied.
"Does your dog bite?" I asked
"No" he said
I leaned over and stroked the dog's head and it bit me!
"You said your dog didn't bite" I said
"Not my dog" he said.
Being happy never goes out of style

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 15 Mar 2018, 22:01

tonyp wrote:
15 Mar 2018, 21:51
daib0 wrote:
15 Mar 2018, 13:14
Understood, though ... I've got a lovely golden retriever at home!!

:D
I was walking along Queen Street the other day and saw this guy sitting on a park bench with a beautiful Golden retriever.
"Lovely dog" I said. "Sure is" he replied.
"Does your dog bite?" I asked
"No" he said
I leaned over and stroked the dog's head and it bit me!
"You said your dog didn't bite" I said
"Not my dog" he said.
:lol:
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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 16 Mar 2018, 09:19

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine & dine her, buy her gifts, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked... with beer.
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tonyp
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by tonyp » 16 Mar 2018, 09:56

bristleposh wrote:
16 Mar 2018, 09:19
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, wine & dine her, buy her gifts, listen to her, respect her, stand by her, support her.

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
Arrive naked... with beer.
:clap2: :clap2:
Being happy never goes out of style

daib0
Posts: 1940
Joined: 09 Nov 2011, 23:20
Location: Spain (Pamplona) - UK (Reading)
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 16 Mar 2018, 15:14

My wife's just told me she's leaving me because of my outrageous poker addiction...

I think she's bluffing
A friendly Reading FC fan! Job: CELLO MAN - see extensive web www.johnstone-music.com

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bristleposh
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Location: El Dub

Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 16 Mar 2018, 16:45

daib0 wrote:
16 Mar 2018, 15:14
My wife's just told me she's leaving me because of my outrageous poker addiction...

I think she's bluffing
:lol:
http://www.theposhforum.co.uk/download/file.php?id=761

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tonyp
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by tonyp » 17 Mar 2018, 12:28

Image
Any chance of a smaller one?
or just
Bristleposh
Being happy never goes out of style

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bristleposh
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Location: El Dub

Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 17 Mar 2018, 13:19

It's smaller than Mr Listers and nobody has complained about his, it is a thumbnail the original which you appear to have posted was way to big to be used
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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 19 Mar 2018, 08:47

You can't spell advertisements without semen between the tits.
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daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 20 Mar 2018, 15:05

My wife says she's leaving me because I always talk like a newsreader.

More on that story later....
A friendly Reading FC fan! Job: CELLO MAN - see extensive web www.johnstone-music.com

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