laughs of the day

Jokes, Riddles and Trivia. Keep them clean please!

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 28 Oct 2016, 08:24

I couldn't find that thing that peels the potatoes and carrots.

So I asked the Kids if they had seen it?

Apparently she left me yesterday.
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 28 Oct 2016, 10:28

Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
http://www.royalsrendezvous.co.uk - a specialist and friendly Reading forum
Cello man ... in action in this VIDEO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEVmGOEMJLE&t=12s Please share !

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 28 Oct 2016, 12:46

daib0 wrote:Q: Is Google male or female?
A: Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.
True dat
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 01 Nov 2016, 22:17

There's a new Matt Damon box set where you see each film in 60 seconds. It's called One Bourne Every Minute
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 03 Nov 2016, 14:58

My wife sat on my glasses last night and broke them.
I was really annoyed at first, but then I realised it was my own fault for not taking them off.
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 03 Nov 2016, 15:03

bristleposh wrote:My wife sat on my glasses last night and broke them.
I was really annoyed at first, but then I realised it was my own fault for not taking them off.
Don't boast!! :D
http://www.royalsrendezvous.co.uk - a specialist and friendly Reading forum
Cello man ... in action in this VIDEO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEVmGOEMJLE&t=12s Please share !

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ashman
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by ashman » 08 Nov 2016, 17:26

Laurel and Hardly 'shot down in flames!'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tG551CqEki8
'Everybody needs to have a friend'

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Poshay
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by Poshay » 08 Nov 2016, 18:07

ashman wrote:Laurel and Hardly 'shot down in flames!'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tG551CqEki8
Strictly no Balls up there. But where was Louise?
Halifax Town,Huddersfield Town Leeds United Hibernian Millwall Margate POSH
From Happy Valley to the Slough of Despond. :roll:

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 10 Nov 2016, 15:00

Some of you will be sad to know my weeks voluntary sabbatical is over, start off with a joke that will probably get me an enforced holiday.

My new German girlfriend always marks our sex sessions from 0 to 10, the other day I tried putting it in the wrong place she said 9 I thought wow that's the highest mark she's ever given me.
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 10 Nov 2016, 15:02

I'm about an inch shorter than my wife in high heels

I'm about four inches shorter than her with no high heels
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 12 Nov 2016, 20:30

So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!?

It's not the end of the world!
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 12 Nov 2016, 20:58

bristleposh wrote:So what if I don't know what apocalypse means!?

It's not the end of the world!
:clap2:
http://www.royalsrendezvous.co.uk - a specialist and friendly Reading forum
Cello man ... in action in this VIDEO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEVmGOEMJLE&t=12s Please share !

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 17 Nov 2016, 14:12

I just saw a bloke on a tractor shouting that the world is going to end...

I think it was Farmer Geddon.
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

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DoubleRay
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by DoubleRay » 17 Nov 2016, 20:14

If you cross a robot with a tractor, do you get a transfarmer? ......

......fetch me coat.

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stuie
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by stuie » 17 Nov 2016, 20:19

shoe army
Plymouth to Portsmouth 2017 -2018, that ain't far

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