laughs of the day

Jokes, Riddles and Trivia. Keep them clean please!

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby bristleposh » 04 Dec 2016, 10:40

I sleep better naked.

Why can't this flight attendant understand that?
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby bristleposh » 07 Dec 2016, 10:26

The wife left a note on the TV today saying "Its not working, I'm leaving"

I plugged it in, turned it on, nothing wrong with it stupid cow!
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

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stuie
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby stuie » 07 Dec 2016, 14:48

bristleposh wrote:The wife left a note on the TV today saying "Its not working, I'm leaving"

I plugged it in, turned it on, nothing wrong with it stupid cow!


:clap: :clap: :clap: Brilliant
Rochdale to Bolton 2016 - 2017

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby bristleposh » 04 Jan 2017, 23:21

My mate Dave was obsessed with cough drops.

He ended up in a menthol institution.
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby bristleposh » 18 Jan 2017, 21:30

eBay is crap!

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 14,983 matches
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby bristleposh » 19 Jan 2017, 21:32

Bought the wife a Pug dog.

Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes, rolls of fat & being ugly, the dog seems to like her!
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby daib0 » 01 Feb 2017, 13:40

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied: "She is called Five Horses".









The man said: "That's an unusual name for your wife.
What does it mean?"







The old Indian replied:
"It old Indian name. It mean ...












NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG.
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daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby daib0 » 01 Feb 2017, 13:40

Husband takes the wife to a nightclub. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big licks – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"
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Cello man ... in action in this VIDEO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEVmGOEMJLE&t=12s Please share !

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stuie
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby stuie » 01 Feb 2017, 16:50

:clap:
daib0 wrote:Husband takes the wife to a nightclub. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big licks – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"
Rochdale to Bolton 2016 - 2017

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby bristleposh » 01 Feb 2017, 21:41

daib0 wrote:Husband takes the wife to a nightclub. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big licks – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"

:lol:
In the Kingdom of the blind,
the one eyed man is King

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tonyp
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby tonyp » 02 Feb 2017, 13:37

bristleposh wrote:
daib0 wrote:Husband takes the wife to a nightclub. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big licks – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"

:lol:

:clap: :lol:
Being happy never goes out of style.

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tonyp
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby tonyp » 02 Feb 2017, 13:41

A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Tu and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States.
submitted 7 months ago by mlazrak
In order to get a visa, they have to Americanise their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Hu became Huck. Tu became Tuck and Fu decided to stay in China.
Being happy never goes out of style.

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stuie
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby stuie » 02 Feb 2017, 13:46

tonyp wrote:A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Tu and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States.
submitted 7 months ago by mlazrak
In order to get a visa, they have to Americanise their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Hu became Huck. Tu became Tuck and Fu decided to stay in China.


another very good joke TonyP
Rochdale to Bolton 2016 - 2017

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby daib0 » 02 Feb 2017, 13:54

silly, but good ! ...
http://www.royalsrendezvous.co.uk - a specialist and friendly Reading forum
Cello man ... in action in this VIDEO https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEVmGOEMJLE&t=12s Please share !

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DaveLister
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Re: laughs of the day

Postby DaveLister » 04 Feb 2017, 13:00

tonyp wrote:A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Tu and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States.
submitted 7 months ago by mlazrak
In order to get a visa, they have to Americanise their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Hu became Huck. Tu became Tuck and Fu decided to stay in China.

:lol:
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