laughs of the day

Jokes, Riddles and Trivia. Keep them clean please!

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 28 Aug 2017, 12:47

tonyp wrote:
28 Aug 2017, 10:27
An advert in the Bristol News

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your Ute, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire, going to the pub. Candlelit dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me and yes, don't need much coaxing to jump into bed with you ...


Call **** **** **** and ask for Lucy - I'll be waiting.....


Scroll down.............
















Over 500 men telephoned and found themselves talking to the RSPCA office in Bristol!!
I'm guessing this was Brisbane not Bristol, we have a shortage of Utes and chances to have fishing and hunting trips, that being said if it was a genuine advert then FairPlay to the local rspca.
https://hashtagbay.com/wp-content/uploads/product/40593/58f7f1702485b.png

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 30 Aug 2017, 16:29

Northerner terrifies Londoners by saying "Hello"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0ay9u1gg4

A friendly Reading FC fan! Job: CELLO MAN - see extensive web www.johnstone-music.com

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tonyp
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by tonyp » 30 Aug 2017, 22:15

daib0 wrote:
30 Aug 2017, 16:29
Northerner terrifies Londoners by saying "Hello"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0ay9u1gg4

:lol: :lol: :clap2: :clap2:
A bit like Sydney.
Being happy never goes out of style

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DoubleRay
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by DoubleRay » 31 Aug 2017, 07:45

tonyp wrote:
30 Aug 2017, 22:15
daib0 wrote:
30 Aug 2017, 16:29
Northerner terrifies Londoners by saying "Hello"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PT0ay9u1gg4

:lol: :lol: :clap2: :clap2:
A bit like Sydney.
In Petersborough you must say "Sveiki" or "cześć".

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 06 Sep 2017, 07:49

If you're on the motorway and the person driving in front of you turns on the wipers when it's not raining, it can only mean one thing.

She will be changing lanes...
A friendly Reading FC fan! Job: CELLO MAN - see extensive web www.johnstone-music.com

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 06 Sep 2017, 09:07

daib0 wrote:
06 Sep 2017, 07:49
If you're on the motorway and the person driving in front of you turns on the wipers when it's not raining, it can only mean one thing.

She will be changing lanes...
:clap: :clap2: :clap:
https://hashtagbay.com/wp-content/uploads/product/40593/58f7f1702485b.png

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ashman
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by ashman » 06 Sep 2017, 09:29

bristleposh wrote:
06 Sep 2017, 09:07
daib0 wrote:
06 Sep 2017, 07:49
If you're on the motorway and the person driving in front of you turns on the wipers when it's not raining, it can only mean one thing.

She will be changing lanes...
:clap: :clap2: :clap:
.... or they are driving a Kia Rio which has the indicators on the right and the wipers on the left! They have since come in line with everybody else and put the controls the other way round! :shock:
'Everybody needs to have a friend'

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tonyp
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by tonyp » 06 Sep 2017, 09:48

bristleposh wrote:
06 Sep 2017, 09:07
daib0 wrote:
06 Sep 2017, 07:49
If you're on the motorway and the person driving in front of you turns on the wipers when it's not raining, it can only mean one thing.

She will be changing lanes...
:clap: :clap2: :clap:
:clap2: :clap2: :lol:
Being happy never goes out of style

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poshnipper
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by poshnipper » 07 Sep 2017, 05:28

urmmm daib0, Brizzle and Tony.
Consider yourselves warned. Image

In-house bickering can be tolerated. Being naarsty about the driving qualities of the fairer sex, can not! :mrgreen:
We go again...
Proud to be POSH

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tonyp
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by tonyp » 07 Sep 2017, 08:33

poshnipper wrote:
07 Sep 2017, 05:28
urmmm daib0, Brizzle and Tony.
Consider yourselves warned. Image

In-house bickering can be tolerated. Being naarsty about the driving qualities of the fairer sex, can not! :mrgreen:
I have to say that I was in more trouble with my wife for laughing and applauding that post.
But I apologised to her as well.
Sorry nipper.











































Only joking!! :lol: :lol:
Being happy never goes out of style

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 07 Sep 2017, 10:35

I was worried for a second, have only been banned from two forums in 60+ ... and still no idea why, wum-ming or strolling is not my thing!!
A friendly Reading FC fan! Job: CELLO MAN - see extensive web www.johnstone-music.com

dunc
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Location: shropshire

Re: laughs of the day

Post by dunc » 07 Sep 2017, 12:54

Surely in the "Just For Fun" section, nothing should be taken seriously?
We have enough "serious" politicians to be worried about in this day and age, with Kim Jong Un, Donald Trump, ISIS and the whole of the EU!

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DaveLister
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by DaveLister » 16 Sep 2017, 19:30

poshnipper wrote:
07 Sep 2017, 05:28
urmmm daib0, Brizzle and Tony.
Consider yourselves warned. Image

In-house bickering can be tolerated. Being naarsty about the driving qualities of the fairer sex, can not! :mrgreen:
To be fair, I've yet to meet the man who handles a broomstick better than a woman.
Image

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bristleposh
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Thinking of giving my wife a new nickname

Post by bristleposh » 13 Oct 2017, 15:21

Everything I do or say is wrong, my driving which isn't the best at least takes place, which is one up on her. She accuses me of drinking too much, not listening to anything she says. Anyone think of a new name for her I was thinking of Chompy.
https://hashtagbay.com/wp-content/uploads/product/40593/58f7f1702485b.png

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DaveLister
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Re: Thinking of giving my wife a new nickname

Post by DaveLister » 13 Oct 2017, 15:38

bristleposh wrote:
13 Oct 2017, 15:21
Everything I do or say is wrong, my driving which isn't the best at least takes place, which is one up on her. She accuses me of drinking too much, not listening to anything she says. Anyone think of a new name for her I was thinking of Chompy.
But all of that stuff is perfectly normal. You call her the wife.
Image

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