laughs of the day

Jokes, Riddles and Trivia. Keep them clean please!

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 04 Dec 2016, 10:40

I sleep better naked.

Why can't this flight attendant understand that?
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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 07 Dec 2016, 10:26

The wife left a note on the TV today saying "Its not working, I'm leaving"

I plugged it in, turned it on, nothing wrong with it stupid cow!
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stuie
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by stuie » 07 Dec 2016, 14:48

bristleposh wrote:The wife left a note on the TV today saying "Its not working, I'm leaving"

I plugged it in, turned it on, nothing wrong with it stupid cow!
:clap: :clap: :clap: Brilliant
Plymouth to Portsmouth 2017 -2018, that ain't far

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 04 Jan 2017, 23:21

My mate Dave was obsessed with cough drops.

He ended up in a menthol institution.
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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 18 Jan 2017, 21:30

eBay is crap!

I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 14,983 matches
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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 19 Jan 2017, 21:32

Bought the wife a Pug dog.

Despite the squashed nose, bulging eyes, rolls of fat & being ugly, the dog seems to like her!
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daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 01 Feb 2017, 13:40

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name.
He replied: "She is called Five Horses".









The man said: "That's an unusual name for your wife.
What does it mean?"







The old Indian replied:
"It old Indian name. It mean ...












NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG.
A friendly Reading FC fan! Job: CELLO MAN - see extensive web www.johnstone-music.com

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 01 Feb 2017, 13:40

Husband takes the wife to a nightclub. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big licks – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"
A friendly Reading FC fan! Job: CELLO MAN - see extensive web www.johnstone-music.com

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stuie
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by stuie » 01 Feb 2017, 16:50

:clap:
daib0 wrote:Husband takes the wife to a nightclub. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big licks – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"
Plymouth to Portsmouth 2017 -2018, that ain't far

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bristleposh
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Location: El Dub

Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 01 Feb 2017, 21:41

daib0 wrote:Husband takes the wife to a nightclub. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big licks – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"
:lol:
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tonyp
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by tonyp » 02 Feb 2017, 13:37

bristleposh wrote:
daib0 wrote:Husband takes the wife to a nightclub. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it big licks – break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works.

The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."

Husband says: "Looks like he’s still celebrating!!"
:lol:
:clap: :lol:
Being happy never goes out of style

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tonyp
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by tonyp » 02 Feb 2017, 13:41

A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Tu and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States.
submitted 7 months ago by mlazrak
In order to get a visa, they have to Americanise their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Hu became Huck. Tu became Tuck and Fu decided to stay in China.
Being happy never goes out of style

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stuie
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by stuie » 02 Feb 2017, 13:46

tonyp wrote:A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Tu and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States.
submitted 7 months ago by mlazrak
In order to get a visa, they have to Americanise their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Hu became Huck. Tu became Tuck and Fu decided to stay in China.
another very good joke TonyP
Plymouth to Portsmouth 2017 -2018, that ain't far

daib0
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 02 Feb 2017, 13:54

silly, but good ! ...
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DaveLister
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by DaveLister » 04 Feb 2017, 13:00

tonyp wrote:A Chinese family of 5, named Chu, Bu, Hu, Tu and Fu decided to immigrate to the United States.
submitted 7 months ago by mlazrak
In order to get a visa, they have to Americanise their names. Chu became Chuck. Bu became Buck. Hu became Huck. Tu became Tuck and Fu decided to stay in China.
:lol:
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