laughs of the day

Jokes, Riddles and Trivia. Keep them clean please!

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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 08 May 2018, 08:33

I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn.

It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 08 May 2018, 13:53

bristleposh wrote:
08 May 2018, 08:33
I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn.

It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.
:D
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stuie
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by stuie » 09 May 2018, 19:17

bristleposh wrote:
08 May 2018, 08:33
I’ve been taking Viagra for my sunburn.

It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.
:clap:
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stuie
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by stuie » 09 May 2018, 19:35

Fair play to Wayne Rooney for visiting Sir Alex in hospital
'his speech has improved, and he can nearly string a sentence together'
said Fergie
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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 13 May 2018, 20:44

Saw a golf buggy parked in a disabled bay this morning and thought to myself; I wonder what his handicap is?
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 17 May 2018, 07:12

My Good deed done for the day, I was at Aldi check out I was behind an old lady in the queue. Her bill came to £51.60 but when she counted out her change she had just under £50. She didn’t want me to help her bless her, but I insisted, and in no time we had all her shopping back on the shelves. :mrgreen:
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 23 May 2018, 16:41

A city in Yorkshire has gone missing. Police are currently looking for Leeds...
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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 23 May 2018, 19:18

daib0 wrote:
23 May 2018, 16:41
A city in Yorkshire has gone missing. Police are currently looking for Leeds...
Boom boom
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 06 Jun 2018, 10:59

I saw this advert in a shop window that said " TV for sale, £1, volume stuck on full "
I thought ... "I can't turn that down"
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BAPD15
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by BAPD15 » 06 Jun 2018, 23:38

How does a one armed man change a light bulb?

Uses a receipt, just like everyone else does
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 07 Jun 2018, 07:43

My wife said she's leaving me because I always jump to conclusions.
Now it turns out she isn't...
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 10 Jun 2018, 10:08

Trainspotters, how sad are they, I counted 35 the other day.
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bristleposh
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by bristleposh » 10 Jun 2018, 12:10

I've forgotten to inform those who received a book from me for Christmas. They were due back at the library in Feb.
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by Brianposh » 10 Jun 2018, 12:14

……..and I was just really getting into that Bible Nick.. :clap2:
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Re: laughs of the day

Post by daib0 » 11 Jun 2018, 21:46

Just back from holiday in Thailand & I came close to going all the way with a ladyboy! Looked like a lady, walked & talked like a lady, kissed like a lady.

It was only when she drove me to her place & reversed the car in the garage first time I thought to myself "Hang on a bloody minute..." :o


:lol:
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